I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
