Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
birth control should be required to get into college
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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