You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
