Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
