There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize