I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need moral support for this bender
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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