I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I smell stomach acid.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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