So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
