Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My dick has a subreddit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
