I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
