Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
