I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
