So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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