The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
