I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
as a side note pls kill me
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