Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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