I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
