she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
