She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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