After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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