then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize