Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
