Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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