Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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