1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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