4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
