You're my little dorito
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
