Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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