jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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