You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
