my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
