ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
