just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
