I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
