So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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