honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
