He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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