just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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