I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
