BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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