Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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