he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
