Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
