what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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