He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
