you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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