I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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