So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
