Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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