So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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