i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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