you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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