I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You are a genius and a whore.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ok first of all what the fuck
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
