She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you made out with another girl for some wings
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
