My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize