I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
