oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
