It's like God shit irony all over that family
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
