i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it glows. i had to have it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
