I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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