Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
